How to Care For the Introvert/Sensitive Person in Your Life

NOTE: I'll be referring to Quiet Writers. Quiet Writers shall mean a certain portion of Introverts who prefer to write what they have to say and are rather more quiet and shy than the average Introvert. It's important for you to note not all Introverts are this way. I am referring only to what I call the Quiet Writers.
  • Respect Their Quietness
Quiet Writers are a different kind of person. They'll prefer to write what they want to say and to be alone for a good portion of their time. It's important for you to know this isn't wrong. It's the way their brain functions. And brain functionality is amazing!

Sometimes Quiet Writers just need to be alone. Sometimes they just need to write! Whether it's journaling to get their feelings out, creating stories, or writing about subjects and issues they are passionate about. 

Action Step: If they're having a bad day, which will only intensify their need to be alone and recharge, don't bother them. LET them be alone. They won't become recluses or perverts. Just give them some space for alone time and writing. Don't force them to talk to you or be with other people.
  • Try Not to Interrupt Them
Upon the rare occasion I spoke out loud in a large group of people the thing I feared the most was being interrupted. It left me feeling very stupid, as if I what I had to say wasn't worth listening to. Quiet Writers can be more sensitive than the average person, and when they speak they're probably feeling very uncomfortable and insecure already. Often times they feel better about writing things down because out loud they feel they can't communicate as well.

Action Step: When they're talking to you or in a group of friends, take a moment to listen. They will be quiet and insecure about talking, but try to wait while they sort out their thoughts before you put in your two cents worth.

  • Treat Them as if They Are Competent 
Our culture puts a lot of emphasis on Extroverted things, i.e. partying, working in group situations, expressing oneself out loud in large crowds. This can leave the Quiet Writer:
  • Feeling guilty because they don't like partying or find it easier to work alone
  • Feeling incompetent and inadequate because they aren't like the rest of their friends 
This will make them:
  • Afraid to do new things or even the most mundane of things, like asking for directions or telling a waiter something is wrong with their food 
  • Which can or may lead to other people with stronger personalities treating them as if they were inadequate or incompetent
When you treat extra-sensitive people like they are incompetent they begin to believe, unconsciously, that they are even more incompetent. They become even more insecure, their inner world is a small, fragile place that shatters easily.

But if you treat them as capable of doing things, they grow strong. They believe they are competent. This goes for everyone in their own way, not just Introverts or sensitive people. Their inner world becomes less terrifying and they don't shatter as often or as easily as before.

This is how you love someone who is timid and shy, this is how to love everybody. Everyone will respond differently, but this is where you begin.

Action Step: Ask your Quiet Writer to do a favor for you, better yet ask them to do something they love for you. But ask them in a way that will make them feel confident that you believe they can do this task and do it well.

This sounds as if you have to walk on tip-toes around every quiet person or artist, but don't feel this way. Everyone needs to be shown a little kindness, Introverts and Extroverts alike. Human beings share all the same desires and needs, chief among these is the need to be loved and understood. Treat everyone with kindness and, though it may not always be reciprocated, you'll be surprised how often it is.

What do you think? Why do Introverts need Extroverts & Why do Extroverts need Introverts?


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