An Open Love-Letter to My Introverted Self
Considering my 25 years of existence, you and I are still relatively new at being friends, still newer at being in love. I never knew you existed until I was about twenty or twenty-two. And it was, sort of, love at first sight.
I was so in love with you. I was very glad to find that you were in fact a real thing and I wasn't so bad off after all. All this mess was just really you, and I had nothing to worry about.
Then our road got bumpy. Really bumpy. And life with you wasn't as grand as I thought it would be.
I blame you for all my insecurities, all my awkward, embarrassing moments, and every time I wanted to talk to someone and couldn't because I was too shy.
I blame you for all the nights I spent scribbling stories in darkness, searching for something worthwhile in myself, something to make me confident, something to make me NOT need you. I blame you for all the piano lessons I begged for, for every time I could not NOT make music with something. I blame you for the $800+ I spent on photography, and the countless hours I spent capturing and editing photos.
I blame you for a lot of things in my life. If you hadn't happened, maybe things would be different.
But I just wanted to say thank you, I wouldn't change a single thing about you and our life together. (I might change a few of the embarrassing moments)
Thank you for all the mistakes, the embarrassing moments, all the glorious creative, inspiring moments, for every word I ever wrote, for every note I ever played, for every picture I ever took, for every time I redesigned my blog.
Thanks for every time I cried when I thought I wasn't good enough for them, for every time I thought I was horrid when I couldn't do anything to please the world. Thanks for always being there for me, even when for most of my life I didn't know you existed.
Thanks for being a part of me, thanks for being inexplicably ME.Thanks for putting up with me, thanks for staying with me despite all the times I tried to forget you and be an Extrovert instead, despite all the times I hated you and wished you'd go haunt someone else.
Thanks for every sweet moment of realization that you were one of the best things about me, that I was different because of you, and that was a good thing, not a bad thing.Thanks for hanging on through all the tough times, for every quiet, peaceful moment of sweet refuge. Thanks for always understanding.
Thanks for helping me see the beauty of a still moment alone in an empty house. Thanks for all the times you comforted me when I was sad. Thanks for sticking it out for the long haul.Thanks for us—being together. For always.
Please, remember that even though I sometimes have a bad day, I'm so very glad you're a part of my life. That you've made me who I am and I wouldn't be me without you.
So thank you.
Love & hugs, Kayla